How did you know about the bullying of your child?
Lea’s naturally a cheerful, funny and pleasant child, who’s personality instantly lights up a room. I noticed a sudden change in her moods as she was became very emotional and sensitive. She then opened up to us about the bullying incidents at school and how sad it made her feel, to a point that she didn’t enjoy going to school.
How did you deal with this?
At one stage it escalated so much that I arranged a meeting with the teacher as it began to affect Lea’s performance at school. As parents we are obligated to ensure that your child is happy and feels safe at school, and would try all avenues to provide them with that security. We kept reminding her that it’s not her fault that she is being targeted, as bullies usually behave this way because they are not happy and probably dealing with so many issues, and therefore they make themselves feel better by hurting others. We also reminded her that we too were bullied as kids, and gave her positiv tips on how best to deal with it.
What is your advice to parents who have children who go through bullying?
- Parents should have open and transparent relationship with their kids, so that they freely come to them at any time with issues.
- Instill positive attitudes and values in children
- Encourage them to pursue their passions and hone their skills that bring them joy and ability to express themselves
- Get them involved in activities that help them feel good about themselves
- Parents need to teach their children problem solving skills without displaying anger and aggression
- Remind them how proud you are of them and how much they mean to you and others
- Teach them to love themselves
How did you help your child gain confidence?
As parents we taught Lea to love and accept herself just the way she is, and reminded her that this was preparation for the future and the ‘big bag world’, where not everyone will be nice and kind to you. We encouraged her to focus on the things that made her happy like dancing and swimming, the modelling only started this year which then became a natural delight to her. We constantly reminded her that she’s unique and special and shouldn’t compare herself to others.
For some kids communicating about being bullied at school to parents is quite difficult and certain kids assume that it’s a sign of weakness, how would you advise to deal with a situation like that?
Well kids form their view of themselves based on their friendship groups, their hobbies, their appearance and how others see and accept them. They constantly need parents encouragement and reminders that they are exceptional individuals who have the ability to achieve great things. Kids need to know that parents support them 100%. We as parents shouldn’t constantly point out their faults and evaluate them , as they won’t feel good about themselves, and they won’t feel like they have your support. Every kid needs to know that their parents think the world of them.
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